UPDATE:: I got a call from Bell last night wanting my feedback on their service. It was automated because they care so much…

What is it with companies trying to nickel and dime people at every turn? Why do I need to subscribe to the largest possible cable package to get 3 channels? Why do I need to harvest my own kidneys to pay a whopping cell phone bill just to get the only two features that matter to me?

Bell sucks. If I want nothing but The Discovery Channel and TLC, I need to first subscribe to at least the basic package which has over 100 channels. You get the major networks like Global, CTV, NBC, Fox, etc…, and crap like OMNI and the Aboriginal Peoples Television (which I’m sure even the Aboriginal peoples don’t watch).

Now, to get those two channels I mentioned (Discovery and TLC) you need to subscribe to not one, but two theme packs. They’re not really theme packs because you only get half a theme. To get the two channels I want I need to subscribe to News & Learning 1, and News & Learning 2. That means I get 20 channels I don’t want. Crap like Book TV, and Business News Network, and VIVA (whatever the hell that is).

Now I have over 120 channels, and I’m paying about $40. Oh, and don’t forget about the service charge. Fuck me, but I though the subscription I was buying was the service. I guess I have to pay a few bucks to cover the cost of that automated infinite loop of a phone system they have. Now I pay about $50 for the 2 channels I want.

So, I canceled. I don’t need this shit. I have the internet. Do you know what Bell told me? They told me I needed to give them 30 days notice and pay a $99 cancellation fee. Do you know why they need 30 days notice? I guess they were really banking on my 50 bucks, and they have to find somebody to take my place. Right. So they got another $50 out of me. Same thing for the cancellation fee. Actually I bitched enough about how stupid that was, so they only charged me $50. Thanks ever so much Bell.

Hey! I have an idea. Why doesn’t Bell just provide a service that people actually want to pay for? Why not allow me to pay them for 2 channels? Why split up the themes so that I have to buy all this shit I don’t want?

It’s the same thing with Rogers. I have an iPhone, and if I want caller ID, I have to pay about $100/month because of all the bundling I have to do. Ridiculous.

I guess the whole point of this rant is that Value Added Services add cost, not value. Greedy companies just use this term as a way to describe the practice of adding perceivedvalue to their offerings. Go fuck yourselves.

<rant>

I’m telling you, Bell Express-Vu’s customer service is horrible!  Not only do you have to sit through menu after menu just to talk to somebody, when you do finally talk to a real person, they either have to transfer you, or they screw up your account in some way.

I called this giant of a company a couple of weeks ago to cancel my service.  I haven’t had my receiver connected since I got my HDTV because the receiver wasn’t HD.  So, I figured I didn’t need to pay for what I wasn’t using.  Well, after trying to cancel, the phone jockey convinced me to say with the promise of a free HD receiver and 30% off my bill for two years.

Great, right?  No.  The guy insisted he needed to send a technician out to install my HD box.  He said something about running a second line from the dish.  Fine.  Send the tech. Appointment time?  Between 8am and 5pm on Saturday.  Lovely.  Bell can bill me to the minute, but they can’t schedule an appointment any more accurately than a 9 hour span.

So, I’m waiting at home like a mindless sheep last Saturday for the Bell tech, when I get a call at about 11:30am.  The guy is in the driveway of my old house in Grand Bay (about an hour from where I live now).  He’s wondering why nobody is home.  Gee, maybe that’s because I don’t live there any more!

When I moved here 18 months ago, I had to wait on hold with Bell for an hour to tell them I moved.  They’ve been sending my bill to this address ever since then.  Funny how they only know where I live when it comes to collecting my money.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had trouble with installation.  When I moved into my last house Bell missed 4 installation appointments before finally showing up.  I should have known something like this would happen again. Anyway, Bell had to schedule another appointment a week later.

To top things off, the tech didn’t need to install another line.  He didn’t know why the phone jockey told me he would.  He just hooked up the box, called the office to activate it, said “Have a nice day, guy!”, and left.  In and out withing 30 minutes.

I spent an hour trying to get the Harmony Remote to play nice with the new box, sat down to waste some time watching some HD, and…nothing on.

</rant>

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